The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. What can I do? That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. It's no secret that returning to work after the birth of your child can be overwhelming. And even after that, it is still entirely possible to bond. As soon as she sees me she crys my mamma and whines and doesnt want him to come near her or even talk to her. You may be feeling a range of emotions about being away from your baby, all while getting used to a new daily routine that might involve busier mornings, daycare drop . I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. When I drop her off at daycare she doesnt look twice. Very scary! Its just so strange I dont know what to do!! I play with him when all I want to do watch TV or take some time to myself. At 12 mos the situation was improved. But the bond has never come (she is 5 now) I find it hard to love her, probs have more to do with me because I got pregnant again and sort of gave up on her im sorry to say, when my son was born he loved me the best and always wanted me, and she rejected me over and over. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? 6 wk old son doesn't like me (his mother) by: Anonymous. But when daddy comes home, she always seems to forget my existence. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . But it is by no means too late. as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. Why does she prefer her father when he can go a whole week without ever seeing her? Your mom can also try to stir up some excitement around you coming home from school; looking out of the window with your daughter here comes Mommy! At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. i so wanted to be a mom and was so happy to have her that i never thought i would be such a failure. And be there when they come back. Things will get better. Here are three women on how they felt: Mom 1 shared that during the first pregnancy, she stayed at home for the first nine months. The rational part of me says that this makes sense because he is with daddy more than me at the moment. First of all, kudos to you who co-sleep with your daughter! So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. You are obviously there for your son. by Ashley Jones July 13, 2021 Everything that happens in your life once you have a baby just feels different.. I was always there for him. The wrong nipple was used and baby has become a little lazy. sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. My baby boy is 6 moths and I know he prefers dad. I am so confused and sad. She rather suck her thumb than sucking the bottle. Instead, these are 3 things that I didn't expect to be blessed with when going back to work. i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. Rather the contrary; that you have helped him become so secure that he is now ready to face the world. But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). Making daily life work with a little toddler/baby is not always easy, so being able to help each other, discuss situations and both taking responsibility makes a difference. He is the best dad Ive ever seen (aside from my father) and always had his daughter for a few days a week straight since she was born. I just wanted to post an update and some encouragement that things really do get better with time. It did break my heart. And it is very easy to feel rejected when it happens. Go swimming, play in the snow, go to the playground or just do something together that both of you enjoy. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. Am a single mum living with my parents. Im in a bit of a no win situation here, I am expecting my first child with my partner, he has a daughter by a previous marriage , my job requires me to work out of the country for 4 weeks then I get 4 weeks off at home and so on. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! My 5 year old son rejects me. I feel very bad. and youre doing the right thing. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. And I would say it is actually a good sign. Please help if you have passed this phase. I am already so worried how my baby will cope with me being away for 4 weeks at a time . Moms Question: knowing or hoping that there is an end in sight gives me great joy. My daughter is 15months old. Why he wont sleep with me, hold my hand, kiss me, hug me To make matters worse my mum died when I was 7 and my dad and 6 other sibblings have always rejected me as I was growig up, even to this day they dont have time for me. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. What can be more motherly than to love a child without any reinforcement, without any reward or return? New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . Secondly, your daughter does not hate you. Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. Sep. 5, 2016. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? Please someone help me with this I dont want to hate my mom but more than anything I dont want my son to bond better to her. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Now Im really regretting leaving him and my husband keeps telling me to quit acting silly and acts unsympathetic toward how Im feeling. I feel rejected by my man, I have asked many times why? RIght now he is identifying with dad. I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. Thanks. I feel your pain. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. Im so happy he still wants to breastfeed though and didnt completely write me off but he just doesnt seem happy to see me like he did his daddy and that hurts so much especially since I cried cause I missed him so much. I feel like a lazy, uninvolved mother and I hate it. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! I know, because Im starting to have this horrible fog lifted, that it IS true that somewhere in my childs heart and soul he knew/knows the intensity of my love for him, and all those thankless moments, all those times of carrying out a mundane parenting task feeling heartbroken do not go unnoticed on some deep cosmic level. I nursed him up until a month ago. I can understand that your sons behavior is making you sad. Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. baby rejecting mom after going back to work. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. Why is that so? With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. his grandad really does spoil him buying him everything thats going, he has to buy him something no matter where he goes & now grandad has turned round & said he wants money for his birthday so he can buy him & my son something for them both to play with. She cant even choose not to, because you are her mom. When I get home she doesnt get excited to see me. I hear a lot of guilt in what you write. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. My dad says its because she can feel who really loves her. I have a 2 year old daughter. I just want to cry and cry. A boy and a girl. My daughter is 2 1/2 years old, and she used to be very affectionate. Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. Hi my 9 1/2 month old boy is with me all day since birth now daddy is home with me since he got laid off I do everything for him. hi my baby is 5 months old and still now she hasnt recognized me. Im at the end of the road and i dont know what to do. She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. Or has anyone here experienced their toddler crying when they hear the parents voice on the phone and they are fine once they see them? Children are not there to build our self-esteem, they cant and often wont, especially if we expect them to act in a certain way, or to be thankful or loving, because we treat them well. Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. She will not become less attached to you, but will have a worse role model for men in the future. no more crying out 2 daddy when she has a tummy ache.and she hasbecome so excited whn i come home frm work.My husband and I lives in a different continent due to the nature of my work, and he wd come to stay wt us 2-3 times a year at around 5 weeks to 2 months a time.So whn he left for Asia when our baby is 2 months old, we established a routine using the internet via webcam and video calls every single day. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. Can I give you a challenge? Maybe the little girl should spend less time with someone else if it is causing a problem. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! If you are even in the vicinity of your daughter when the nanny is there, she will scream for you and you alone. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. Im the mother who wrote nearly a year ago that my baby boy didnt seem to love me, I posted later that things seemed to be improving and now, at 18 months, I feel absolutely loved by my son. I am so sad. He is now almost 4 and cries every time his dad leaves and tells me he doesnt want me. You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. He also loves his father and grandmother. Hi sad dad, Its been like this since he was a newborn. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. Much more effective than disciplining a child. (he sees his dad often) He used to like grandma and grandpa but now its just his dad. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. Of course we can go the road of power struggles, but it wont help. For you, later bedtimes may equal more fun time with baby. I think there are two things you should do. It hurts to see my mother be the preferred one when I try just has hard to be noticed! I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. Your little one will still be provided with consistent, loving care. Try and make him happy. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. Ask your midwife or doctor for help immediately if any part of you answers yes to my above question. It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. Baby swim classes, where the parent is with the child in water (if the baby likes it, of course) is a wonderful way to have fun together, for example.). In addition, you could leave a used t-shirt them, to be used for naptime, for example, so your smell is as familiar as possible. But I think something else is equally important if not more. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. Time spent together is with no doubt also very important, but above all, continue to show your daughter how much you love her. If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. It is not your fault that the first few months were very tough. I would actually bet on the second explanation, since you write that you did build a strong bond with her during her first 6 months. She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. By the time all my training was done may daughter was 14 months old and had been with my mother the entire time. 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