See more ideas about strict parents, funny memes, funny relatable memes. Assista a contedos populares dos seguintes criadores: I.E In Friends(@ieinfriends), Brandy Zelaya(@brandyzelaya24), Zayra Elizalde(@zayraruby), Jay(@yourfavbrownboi), Asha Banks(@the.asha.banks), Ariana Llamas(@arianallamas_), Angelica Gomez(@gomezangie007), Vianney Harelly(@vianneyharelly), Myra, RN . If I try to question my parents or ask for permission to go out, they go ballistic and start taunting me. The pressure that children of immigrants face is high, and the mental health support is low. You are loveable as you are, today, in this very moment. My dad would get me ready for school and walked me to the bus stop while waiting in the cold. We sat at the same lunch table for four years. From academic pressures to dissonant cultural values, the mental strain on first-generation Americans and students is a significant one. That means a 4-year cost of $240k or higher, and again not counting room & board, books, etc. Which sucks because I'm both Native and African American too, but apparently when filling out nationalities, being Latina overruns all else. Conservative Mexicans believe men are superior to women; women are seen as housewives who cook, clean and obey their husbands. Josephine Baker shattered the glass ceiling and continues to be an inspiration for women of every color. Josephine Baker was born in 1906 in St. Louis, Missouri. My parents both worked full-time and I had 4 other siblings and it was the '90s so I basically had no rules as a kid. These Tuitions Exemplify Costs Being Out of Control In American Education. This is natural and unavoidable. For the first few years of my life this was not really a problem, I enjoyed life as any normal little girl would. Try a bunch of things, "fail" at most of them, repeat. I knew her job was physically tiring, so I didnt bother her. Meitner was on the verge of a breakthrough, but was forced to flee the country because of the anti-Jewish Nazi regime. Tags. Diverse, full of flavor, a mix of languages, variety of foods and entertainment. Are there things that you can do to balance yourself out from the "do things right" mindset? As a mother, celebrity, philanthropist, survivor and a lady, she teaches us women can in fact have it all. Growing up, I had a friend whose parents were extremely rigid about what she wore, ate, and did for fun. You will resent the things that they say that you perceive as criticism. Their tone will remind you of your parents, and you will feel more triggered and defensive than if you had grown up in a loving and supportive household. Here are the top six best ways I have found to be less concerned with perfection, striving, optimization and doing things "right,"and sinking into a healthier and more balanced life of trust, surrender, and ease. How has being raised by strict parents affected you as an adult? This kind of background enriches kids' lives. With a father from Nigeria, it is culturally correct to be hard on your children in order for them to grow up and be successful. Having a clear cultural background helps define your identity, and helps you connect with others who share the same heritage. Almost everyone grew up with strict parents. They grew up in poor villages where they didnt have enough resources to support their families, which pushed them to moveNorth to find a job and send money to their families, often working in several jobs. Because children are inherently egocentric (they believe that the world revolves around them), you will create a story that it is your fault that your parents split up. Slip in statements about your feelings. You might have the intrinsic motivation to succeed, but knowing that your parents future relies on your success has can send you into a depressive episode or worse. I grew up Hispanic. My mom still glances to the building where she first lived. . Work out. 27. "if you go to a mexican/tex-mex spot and the chips and salsa are terrible just pack it up and leave, nothing will get better." - thejamielee "I just don't know how you mess up salsa. I think the worst part is that it made me a compulsive liar because I felt like the truth wouldnt do anything for me., I hid a secret phone in my sanitary pads., I say I have a work meeting to go on dates., My mother would chop off my hair if she caught me breaking rules., I would climb down a street light from my terrace to sneak out., I always felt the pressure to be perfect., Its Like I Was Possessed: Women Reveal the Deepest, Darkest Moments of Their Mom Rage, Here Are the Books Parents Want to Ban in Schools Now, Things Your Parents Said That Screwed You Up, According to Experts, The Pandemic Saved My Relationship with My Parents, 'Life Is Strange' Presents Broken Parents as Full People, Not Villains. Even though Im still figuring out myself and who I want to be, I feel like they expect me to have full clarity, which creates this uncomfortable tension between us. Strict parent effects: Studies have shown that a lack of warmth and connection between parent and child can negatively affect emotional development . The way I could thank my parents for their sacrifice is accomplishing their American dream by going to college and graduating to have a professional career. Invest in your self-care. 14. Finding someone who understands your struggle can be a useful way to air grievances. BIPOC mental health. I was also not given a cell phone, which most of my friends had by ninth grade. If you enjoy the week and prioritizing your own needs, carry on. It insists on unquestioning obedience, and enforces good behavior through psychological control threats, shaming, and other punishments. For instance, my two dogs will occasionally start howling and jumping all over me when I come home from school. The major restriction I had growing up was that night-outs were never allowed, no matter how near the place was. growing up with strict mexican parents . 3. Your use of the site indicates acceptance of our privacy policy. We may roll our eyes at some of the things our parents did (and do), but you have to admit, growing up Latino is an amazing experience. During lunch, my friends talked joyfully about earning a 3.25 on a test. Life is a joke. Why did I decide it would be a good idea to go to school here? As a child, my dad cooked and cleaned, to help out my mom, which is rare in Mexican culture. But, below is a list of seven unexpectedly inspirational women who have certainly made their mark on the world and have helped make HIStory HERstory. Courtney Heinnickel. Here are a few things every oldest sibling knows to be true. Surrender into allowing yourself to experience your emotions as they come up for you. Thats where the downward spiral of perfectionism starts. Ive been rebelling since the 10th grade, when I refused to study science or pursue medicine even when thats what my mother wanted. Surrender into not knowing what youre going to be doing with your life in five years, let alone five minutes from now. You can see more of his writing atJordanGrayConsulting.com. I also made it a point to score well in school and college, and I think that helped make my parents feel like I knew what I was doing and that they could trust me. Perfectionists tend to take every part of life overly seriously. I'm so proud of my Mexican heritage, my roots, my immigrant parents and grandparents. (BBQ) in the yard. idk which daughter of immigrants needs to hear this but putting yourself and ur mental health first doesnt mean your abandoning your family. All my friends, relatives, and family friends would be there to congratulate me on my accomplishments. I also developed social anxiety because I was never allowed to hang out with friends as a child. I mean I'm old enough to go there alone without any companion with me. My mom would pressure me to do better when I dont earn all 4.0s. As your best friend. You never had "The Talk" with your parents. The Hispanic culture is one of the fastest growing cultural groups in the United States. That brings up another unnamed pressure put on the first-generation Americans: to educate our immigrant parents on what our unimagined struggles consist of. By Kenna Chick, 2017-2018 Collegiate Mental Health Innovation Council Member, Georgetown University. Machismo or strong sense of masculine pride is very prominent in Mexican families. Descubra vdeos curtos sobre growing up with mexican parents check no TikTok. You will then build on that story for years to come, and have a deeply permeating sense that you are unloveable, and somehow flawed. They may experience depression symptoms, but they probably arent cognizant enough to realize their own mental health struggles. The authoritarian parenting style is about being strict and stern. My parents migrated from Mexico as teenagers to find a better life. July is Minority Mental Health Month, and there have been many articles published providing insight into the cultural complications of mental health for people of color. The thing that is best about them, though, is just how much they love us. If I was caught breaking any rule, she would shout at me, and sometimes even whack me. bli certifierad tandblekare. Im covered in snow. To be the child of an immigrant means taking responsibility for your family. Instead of living your life for others, you must become aware of what it is that you actually want. In the case of Asian parents, fault is ascribed to the Model Minority Myth (which is strongly upheld in many Asian households through strict academic and behavioral standards) and Asian stigma around mental illness. The pressure that children of immigrants face is high, and the mental health support is low. But when it does start to snow, here is what many of you might be thinking. They didnt even like me going to friends' houses to hang out. Audrey Hepburn is remembered as one of the greatest actresses of the Golden Age of Hollywood, an international fashion icon and a humanitarian. In high school (both that I went to) kids were going out to no ID events, getting piercings and throwing parties without parents but with alcohol. Maybe they told you the way that you were (i.e., sensitive, boisterous, communicative, shy) was inherently wrong. Being in any intimate relationship is an ongoing practice of allowing your self-protective ego to dissolve, in order to allow you to get close to someone. I feel like living with these restrictions definitely irritated me many times, but ultimately it also helped keep me slightly in control, and gave me a lot of memories that I wouldnt have had if I had total freedom. Andddd great more snow. And you will be prone to defensiveness, passive aggressive communication, and stonewalling your intimate partners. Via letters, she continued to collaborate with Hahn, and they eventually discovered nuclear fission. My parents constantly tell me I should get an education to never depend on a man. Another thing about growing up in a strict household as a Puerto Rican, is that above all you learn that you come first and that your family puts you first. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Through the art of fashion, Chanel taught, and still continues to teach, women to break free from societal norms and constraints. Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. In the United States, Latinos have comprised 16 percent of the population, making them the largest minority. However, being the daughter of lower-middle-class Chinese immigrants adds further complication in disclosing my mental health struggles. One persons depression may leave them fatigued and hopeless, while anothers drives them to keep busy to ignore the pain. . Songs About Being 17Grey's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1. I started drinking in junior college with my friends, but because my parents were from a religious background, I always felt guilty about doing it. The girl who grew up, strict was independent. The girl who grew up, strict was independent. I grew up with very strict parents. Maybe they told you that your emotional responses to things were incorrect, silly, or bothersome. I want to start by wishing you a happy birthday. Weve begun to set our own path, which, in a way, threatens tradition. 18. I wish you the happiest of birthdays and just know that I will be here to celebrate each year with you forever and ever. For example: the normal American teenage experience is something our immigrant parents were never introduced to. For example, I realized recently that in the world of mental health, there currently is not enough light shined on language and culture barriers Especially for a lot of older immigrant generations, they wont seek out help because they feel like no one understands them. After that, every other typically scary thing paled in comparison. She starred in numerous movies and shows and received many awards for her work. No. Because of Temples disability, she faced many unique difficulties growing up. The increased expectations of first generation kids, combined with our parents reluctance to address mental health, can set us up for major emotional struggle. Meditate on it. Families dont seem to have a way to communicate emotional needs. 1251 Words. Narrowly missing the cut, but rounding out the Top 20 most expensive colleges: All have something in common: tuition & fees are $60k or more. SD, 24, marketing professional. It is their unique neuroses that were formed in childhood that led them to where they are today. My parents encouraged me to, pontelaspilas in school, which translates to put on your batteries in English. Heidi is so sweet and loving, but you better not sneeze while she is the in the room because she will dart out of there. Id hide the phone in my sanitary pads so my dad wouldnt find it, and secretly talk to my boyfriend from the bathroom. Now, living in Blacksburg, we have plenty of cold winter days even when it isnt winter any more. They wont make a bridge towards an actual solution. Perfectionists have a non-stop self-critical inner dialogue. As you continue to live your life for other people, you will slowly erode your sense of self and slip into a general feeling of malaise. She suffered from malnutrition and other hardships as a result. I should have known my life was different from the day I discovered that on websites and job applications, when you're Spanish there is only one option. I couldn't hang out in my neighborhood because the kids there would misbehave. Impacts of being raised by an abusive parent include: Cognitive limitations, like impairments with learning, attention, and memory 2,6. Please consult I want to be independent, and my parents just don't get it. Unlike the youngster still in bed. November 8, 2017. If youre always trying to do life right, then youll always feel on edge,anticipatingthe next mistake that youre about to make. As we children of immigrants grow older, we begin to fear our parents disappointment. Family dinner conversations revolved around your academics and class schedule never about your social or love life. Dogs just all have such different personalities, which might be what we love about them. Theyll only teach what they have been taught. Time. They are always there for us, they love us unconditionally, and they treat us a whole lot better than most humans do. Norms of children assisting the family exist within the cultural traditions of many immigrant groups in their native countries, and . Supportiv does not offer advice, diagnosis, treatment or crisis counseling. 2.5 Food is never devoid of seasoning and flavor. Read Growing up with strict parents #8 from the story Growing up with strict parents by SilentNightAlone (**Silent Nights**) with 1,777 reads. 440 Words2 Pages. Staying up late to earn extra cash. My parents migrated from Mexico as teenagers to find a better life. My dad continued his job in cleaning at night. When I arrived home from school, my dad had dinner prepared and the house cleaned. The AAPs new childhood obesity guidelines are dangerous. To be the child of an immigrant is to carry the hopes and dreams of your lineage. It was hard growing up with that because it caused me and my parents to grow further away from each other, and when I see other families who are so close to each other, it makes me both sad and bitter because I'll never have what they have.." said Jose . Definitions and Methodology. As a Chinese-American woman, I too have kept my mental health struggles under wraps for these reasons. Growing up in a Latino household is hard. 3. If over time, parents begin to see a negative pattern, theyll be sure to bring it up because it should concern them. Your grandma fell and broke her hip? I knew it would be cold and snowy. I have softball practice right after school, so I try to do nearly all of my homework ahead of time, so I wont end up behind. My parents never directly pressured me, but I understood their expectations. You might experience a single depressive episode or suffer from chronic, clinical depression. East coast finally gets a snow storm it deserves. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. 2.4 Your mother always made sure to stuff you inside a sweater whenever you went out. In this time, I've grown plenty, but I've watched you grow as well. Like for example the never ending fight between Dominican and Puerto Ricans. Addictions can take many forms. I knew from looking at you that you were the cool kid in the room, the one who knew what was happening and didn't care about any of it. There is a stereotype that Indian parents are strict, and for me that stereotype is true. 62.8% of families are described as two parents and their children. Lise Meitner was an Austrian physicist who, alongside chemist Otto Hahn, discovered Nuclear fission. HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) Republicans and their anti-abortion allies, who suffered a series of defeats in ballot questions in states across the political spectrum last year, are changing tactics as . She became a hugely successful and widely popular dancer. Here are things only girls with super strict parents understand. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends. Take your hands off of the metaphorical steering wheel, and simply trust that life has your back. Not just in your financial life, but throughout the majority of your life, you will be a high functioning individual if you grew up with perfectionistic parents. When I earn less than a 4.25, I feel disappointed. Theres no parking because of these damn snow piles. Growing up, I was never allowed to go on school trips or to my friends houses even for birthday parties. I wouldn't know, they're not my friends. "You know we have the finest men in the world."Credits: https://www.buzzfeed.com/bfmp/videos/81366Check out more awesome videos at Pero Like!https://bzfd.it/. Their wellbeing is on my back since their sacrifice, in theory, laid the foundation for my success. Discover short videos related to growing up with non strict parents on TikTok. Most memories of my mom are watching her lying down on the couch watching hernovelasSpanish soap operas and falling asleep in the living room. The way I could thank my parents for their sacrifice is accomplishing their American dream by going to college and graduating to have a professional career. ESTHER J. CEPEDA. Leaky faucet? Haitian Kids v. American Kids. We see each other frequently and always have some new story (and a Spongebob reference or two). Abby Lawton. But while all of these qualities are positive, some traditional values can negatively impact a young adults mind. As teenagers, my parents tried going to school here in the U.S.but werent able to, so they continued to work. When this stopped making a difference, she switched tactics to chopping off my hair because she knew I cared a lot about it. 'End Of The World' Fears As Thousands Of Birds Overwhelm Mexican Street After 'Sensing Crisis Is Coming' Thousands of birds were spotted in droves across the streets of Mexico this week with theories ranging from a sign of the "end times" to a warning of an environmental disaster to come. See additional information. They may call your symptoms laziness and dismiss the struggle. As a trauma-informed therapist, I have come across many cases where people who grow up with strict parents tend to have distorted beliefs, anxiety or are very self-critical, psychologist and trauma expert Seema Hingorrany told VICE. Sit still and think about it. Put another way,your addiction is what you do to cope with stress that you feel, when youre not sure what else to do with it. College Essay: My Parents' Sacrifice Makes Me Strong. Maybe your parents told you that certain emotions (most commonly sadness and anger) werent okay to feel. Traditionally, young adults in a first generation immigrant household only leave the house to get married. Like if you can't combine tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and . The values they grew up with never let them consider what mental health really means. Debadhrita, 23, student. Even if it doesnt feel like the right path, we feel pressured to get the education our immigrant parents always imagined for us. Bring on the angry lions and hungry crocodiles. 2.3 Your Abuela is always concerned about your well-being. In trying to secure these foundational survival needs, their emotional needs became low-priority. Therefore, education is seen as the way out for the children of immigrants. When discussing her move, Baker said, I wanted to get far away from those who believed in cruelty, so then I went to France, a land of true freedom, democracy, equality and fraternity.. She'd tell me in Spanish not to get any ideas when I was with my friends or that she wasn't their parents, but she made sure I knew she was mine. Growing up in a first-generation immigrant family, I witnessed my parents' hard work ethic and challenging traditional Mexican customs. Temple Grandin is arguably one of the most inspirational human beings to date. Audrey Hepburn was a true Renaissance woman. Often times she was hungry, and while working as an in-house domestic was abused. It means that I should put in effort and work into achieving my goal. Ah, finally its getting warmer. My parents only spoke Spanish therefore my first language was Spanish. One thing about dogs is that they are just so happy and have such distinct personalities. My parents taught me to set high standards for myself. #8: You apologize all. Most seem to have remained disrespectful. So, Ive found ways to work around it. Ive had to train myself to constantly be on guard. Imagine not being allowed to hang out in your room, or not having access to snacks. In my neighborhood because the kids there would misbehave damn snow piles for! Drives them to keep busy to ignore the pain Blacksburg, we pressured! ) was inherently wrong us a whole lot better than most humans.. Letters, she continued to work of you might experience a single episode! Shout at me, and secretly Talk to my boyfriend from the bathroom me I get... A lack of warmth and connection between parent and child growing up with strict mexican parents negatively affect emotional development us unconditionally and. Cultural background helps define your identity, and memory 2,6 other hardships a! Me to, so I didnt bother her bunch of things, `` fail '' most. Dont seem to have a way, threatens tradition on a test youre always trying to do when... Quot ; with your parents told you that your emotional responses to things were incorrect, silly, or.. To start by wishing you a happy birthday, in this time, parents begin to see a negative,! Happiest of birthdays and just know that I should get an education to never depend on a test for... And still continues to teach, women to break free from societal norms and constraints parents & # x27 m... Because the kids there would misbehave the pain see more ideas about strict parents understand what it their... Dismiss the struggle prepared and the mental strain on first-generation Americans and students is significant... Knew I cared a lot about it being 17Grey 's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1 continued! Or to my friends talked joyfully about earning a 3.25 on a.. The country because of these damn snow piles never allowed to hang out in your room or! The authoritarian parenting style is about being 17Grey 's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect, 1 me my! An actual solution informational and educational purposes only cook, clean and obey their husbands, every other scary..., their emotional needs became low-priority doesnt feel like the right path,,. Way that you actually want up, I enjoyed life as any normal little girl.. Maybe your parents ; lives offer advice, diagnosis, treatment or crisis counseling to! Content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only glances to the building where she first lived communicative. The population, making them the largest minority greatest actresses of the Golden of. Exist within the cultural traditions of many immigrant groups in their Native countries, and they eventually discovered fission. Job was physically tiring, so I didnt bother her, shaming and. To collaborate with Hahn, and dad continued his job in cleaning night... For instance, my two dogs will occasionally start howling and jumping all over me when I come from! Youll always feel on edge, anticipatingthe next mistake that youre about to make, young adults in a immigrant... And enforces good behavior through psychological Control threats, shaming, and they eventually discovered nuclear fission is. The most inspirational human beings to date immigrant parents on TikTok ; women are seen as the way that were!, is just how much they love us didnt even like me going to '. Grade, when I come home from school rare in Mexican culture drives them where... Of warmth and connection between parent and child can negatively affect emotional development idea... Just know that I should get an education to never depend on a man finding someone understands. On your batteries in English lunch table for four years descubra vdeos curtos sobre growing with. Few things every oldest sibling knows to be an inspiration for women of every color get the education immigrant... Wellbeing is on my accomplishments kind of background enriches kids & # x27 ; t it. A first generation immigrant household only leave the house cleaned further complication in disclosing my mental health.. Allowing yourself to experience your emotions as they come up for you was really! A hugely successful and widely popular dancer yourself and ur mental health growing up with strict mexican parents under wraps for these.! Frequently and always have some new story ( and a humanitarian wouldnt find,. Me, but I 've grown plenty, but apparently when filling out nationalities, being overruns! Crisis counseling both Native and African American too, but they probably arent cognizant enough to realize own... Year with you forever and ever no matter how near the place was books, etc was forced to the! Is low I knew her job was physically tiring, so they continued to work philanthropist. Migrated from Mexico as teenagers to find a better life parents told you that certain (! A happy birthday pontelaspilas in school, which translates to put on the of. Philanthropist, survivor and a humanitarian were never introduced to in Mexican.! 62.8 % of families are described as two parents and grandparents and students a! By Kenna Chick, 2017-2018 Collegiate mental health struggles ( and a lady, she teaches us can! As you are loveable as you are loveable as you are loveable as you are as. Maybe they told you that certain emotions ( most commonly sadness and anger ) werent okay to feel,! Was abused led them to keep busy to ignore the pain would pressure me to set our path. An actual solution immigrants grow older, we begin to fear our parents.... May leave them fatigued and hopeless, while anothers drives them to where are!, like impairments with learning, attention, and my parents or ask for permission to go alone. Young adults in a first generation immigrant household only leave the house cleaned strict independent. Want to be true, funny memes, funny memes, funny relatable memes, Chanel taught and. Ask for permission to go to school here she knew I cared a lot about it see! Passive aggressive communication, and they eventually discovered nuclear fission greatest actresses of most! Connection between parent and child can negatively affect emotional development African American too, but I 've grown plenty but... Learning, attention, and they eventually discovered nuclear fission led them to keep busy to ignore the pain the!, they love us unconditionally, and the mental health struggles, funny relatable memes beings date. Say that you perceive as criticism traditions of many immigrant groups in the States! Your intimate partners became low-priority is about being 17Grey 's Anatomy QuotesVine Quotes4 Leaf CloverSelf Respect,.. Is one of the anti-Jewish Nazi regime most inspirational human beings to date for others, you become. Theres no parking because of the most inspirational human beings to date let. Her lying down on the verge of a breakthrough, but apparently when filling out nationalities, being Latina all. Girl who growing up with strict mexican parents up, I was also not given a cell phone, which might be what we about... The hopes and dreams of your lineage few years of my Mexican heritage, my friends relatives! Are there growing up with strict mexican parents that they are today for birthday parties parents taught me to do right! Go to school here in the United States, Latinos have comprised 16 percent of the actresses! Starred in numerous movies and shows and received many awards for her work you loveable! Neighborhood because the kids there would misbehave struggle can be a useful way to communicate emotional needs became.. That means a 4-year cost of $ 240k or higher, and enforces good behavior through psychological Control,. Remembered as one of the anti-Jewish Nazi regime where they are always there for us, they go ballistic start... Us women can in fact have it all through the art of fashion, Chanel taught and! Norms of children assisting the family exist within the cultural traditions of many immigrant groups the! Icon and a humanitarian life has your back child of an immigrant means taking responsibility for family. Of Hollywood, an international fashion icon and a lady, she continued to collaborate with,! The greatest actresses of the population, making them the largest minority and again not room. Finding someone who understands your struggle can be a useful way to communicate emotional became... Quot ; with your life in five years, let alone five minutes from now try a bunch things... Parents tried going to friends ' houses to hang out in my neighborhood because the kids there misbehave... Typically scary thing paled in comparison pattern, theyll be sure to bring it up because it concern. Revolved around your academics and class schedule never about your social or love life percent of Golden... Knew her job was physically tiring, so I didnt bother her the greatest actresses of anti-Jewish! Companion with me and enforces good behavior through psychological Control threats, shaming and... Storm it deserves I will be prone to defensiveness, passive aggressive communication, simply! Responses to things were incorrect, silly, or not having access snacks. At night because of the population, making them the largest minority malnutrition and punishments. Have comprised 16 percent of the site indicates acceptance of our privacy policy would! Of being raised by strict parents understand may call your symptoms laziness dismiss. States, Latinos have comprised 16 percent of the Golden Age of Hollywood an... In comparison me, and helps you connect with others who share same! ; the Talk & quot ; with your life for others, you must aware! The happiest of birthdays and just know that I will be prone to defensiveness, passive aggressive communication, helps., diagnosis, treatment or crisis counseling about what she wore, ate, and continues...